Star Wars Day

You can always tell the newbies. They haven’t been influence by cynicism.

Yesterday, I thought I would be a little lazy and not fold Betty. Mistake.

I was intending to rest Betty in the bicycle area on the second carriage. So I lined up on the platform ready to board the first door of the second carriage. But it was a ‘six coacher’ and the intended door went siling past.

I got on anyway into the third carriage. This is often a useful position as the conductor can be easily reached. But today we have a newbie.

I’ll admit that I was being a mite tardy when I stowed Betty. She was unfolded, and her rear end was sticking out in to the aisle slightly. The other way I’m getting lazy is to split my travel card. It’s more convenient for me to have the ticket part on me (for getting through the barriers at New Street) and the photocard is kept in my wallet, in my rack bag, strapped to the bike with lock, helmet and other paraphernalia in the way of access. I have taken a photo of this photocard, which has served me well on other occasions. But not today.

I’ve not seen this one before, so he might only be a newbie for this area. I sort of guessed he is a newbie, because he got off the train and stood wondering why people weren’t getting on – until he got back on the train and unlocked the doors. Anyway, Betty is on board, I’m seated and getting ready to settle for my half-day holiday. Shortly before departure, The Newbie approached me with “Tickets please!” I get out my travel card and show hi. “do you have the photocard, sir?” “It’s in my bag.” I retort, “but I have a photo of it on my phone, would that be any good?” “Sorry sir, I would prefer to see the card.” “It might take a while – it’s buried and right at the bottom.”

He changed tack, and asked: “Is that your bike, sir?” I proudly answer with a ‘yes’ (after all it is a Bickerton). “Well if you wouldn’t mind, getting off and taking the bike to the next carriage down – you can park it in there without blocking the aisle.” (I kept silent – It was hard, but I resisted.) Also, I’m not convinced he’ll wait for me to get back on – I know that trick – so I offer to fold Betty, retrieve the rail card, and be a generally nice passenger. Sensing my suspicion of dirty tricks, he then said "or you could just make sure it is tucked into the doorway, so it doesn't block the aisle."

Methinks - Not enough to fully block the aisle, clearly, as he managed to get past. Then he clears off.

I, on the other hand, dutifully located Betty into the doorway, retrieve the rail card, and secured her to the rail with the usual bungee. It didn't take long before the rocking of the train took effect and the inevitable 'pick up Betty again' game had started.

So I was not going to get chance to be lazy today. I fold Betty, settle in my seat and prepare for the imminent ticket inspection. We get to the next stop – no inspection. Then the next. And the next and so on. No inspection. I’m left thinking:

“I’ve taken the considerable trouble to fold Betty (while the train was moving), retrieve my photocard from my wallet and prevent Betty from protruding into the aisle. Would you please do me the courtesy of taking the trouble to come back and inspect my ticket!!!”

As I’m thinking this (towards the end of my journey) said Newbie returns with a cheerful. “Unchecked tickets please!! And if you smile, I won’t charge.” A newbie with a sense of humour – I was right; he hasn’t got cynical yet.

What does this have to do with Star Wars Day? Nothing.

Tickets please!! Newbies – They thwart all expectations!!!.