The Girl

It’s my daughter’s birthday tomorrow. Twenty years ago, she was born into this world. She shares the birthday with my twin sister, and my gran and my brother’s wedding anniversary.

One’s first child is always the most interesting experience. You make plans (often naive ones) for all sorts of ways in which you will cope with this small bundle. You decorate the nursery, purchase all manner of equipment that you might need (Nappies. You can never have enough nappies. Even when you think you have enough, you don’t).

I was studying for my degree at the time and I look back on that period with fondness. I was finally doing something that I could really engage with. Something that I felt was ‘me’. I loved it.

SHMBO was working. We discussed what would she do when baby was born. (It should be noted here that we are the type of people who do not want to know the gender of our babies – the surprise factor is key). Plans were made to go back to work, then to stay at home and look after baby, then go back to work, then stay at home...

For months, I’d been dreaming of how a boy would be able to help me decorate, I’d teach him the guitar, show him the ropes - in terms of life (although I drew the line at football). I was so looking forward to ‘baby’ being a boy, that when ‘the girl’ popped out, I was, to be honest, a little disappointed (sorry Sweetie).

What all this ‘getting ready’ doesn’t prepare you for is the complete and utter fear that comes right after the birth. I remember holding her in my hands (her head just fitting snugly into my palm) and gazing down at this beautiful creature and feeling absolute terror!!! At this very moment, I realised that I was now responsible for a human life. That is a sobering thought. All actions I take from now on, have a direct or indirect impact on this little person’s life. All actions. The fear very soon turned into delight.

Over the past twenty years, The Girl (as she is affectionately known, by me and her mom) has been the complete opposite to being a disappointment. She has grown up into a fine young woman, who is likely to leave a deep, long-lasting impression on all those around her. I am immensely proud of her and it always gives me great joy to introduce her as my daughter (yes, I know it’s a joint effort, but there are times when she is my daughter).

So here’s a Happy Birthday to The Girl – may it be a good one. You're amazing.